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Impossible Doors

by Dyslexic Fudgicle, Gefilte Fist

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When you kill with blood happily Total death is here Ripping out your bleeding organs Guts and blood all smear Like nails driving through your skin Of the pain you are aware Your duodenum spills out of your stomach Fermenting as he tears His claws rip out your small intestine Slimy mutilation He eats your anal track Interfering with your defecation Cutting you all up into 13 little sections Now you face digestion What is it like to be eaten alive? As bile erodes, you turn into chyme How does it feel to know that you'll die (...?) Raking your nostrils with his teeth at least your nose is clear he slurps the snots, mucus and pus Now the pain is here You feel your brain drip out your nose The putrid, reeking mess You violently cough up your heart and lungs Now you're in distress He digests your kidneys, then he excretes 'em Away you wish to rush The slop that was once your innards You see in a pile of mush He eats your liver while you're alive and leaves you in (....???) Sadism is his profession With it, he's obsessed Now it comes down to the final hour Your face he must devour You cower under his menacing power But he spits you up, cause you to taste sour What is it like to be vomit of the beast? To be a regurgitated part of his feast? How does it feel to know that you're puke? You were barfed by mistake It was all a fluke!
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"Dyslexic Fudgicle? I thought they broke up in the nineties…" (Oh) I have emerged from an underwater can of crisco I'm feelin' frisky You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna coat my dick in chicken fat (Yeah) I'm gonna follow you home (Yeah) And I've got some roofies But I'm not gonna fuck you in your sleep, No, that would not be classy I'll take some chicken fat and put in your ass and in your vag and in your mouth Gonna light my dick on fire and fuck you like the flames of hell You won't feel a thing Cuz that's what the chicken fat is for You know, like magicians do it? They coat their mouth with chicken fat and They swallow fire We gotta have sex like that I'm gonna fuck you like Oh it's on fire No it's not Oh it's on fire again No it's not Hot cold hot cold hot cold hot cold Hell Sex [motorboat noises] [burp] Both your tits are now covered in chicken fat And I'm gonna motorboat them (oh, to be chicken) God this is stupid Chicken The guitar sounds horrible At least the second time that happened So hey, do you like it hot? Burlap Burlap Burlap Burning the midnight oil By oil, I mean you shit yourself Brr it's cold in here Shit, chicken fat and fire everywhere Circle of pigs [vocal noises] I must'a snorted Riki V's ashes! Fuck Onion Pits! Cut! Two asteroids are headed for earth They look like two giant testicles Then, two tiny moons landed in the middle of each of them; Now, they look like two boobs Filthy filthy filthy filthy Either way, we will be crushed by private parts Ugh. "Look what ya did, ya little jerk!"
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Get your mind out of the gutter it's just my laundry cycle.
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Kill Hit-ler Kill Hit-ler Kill Hit-ler Sour-Kraut Mostache Rides Na- zis-Lost! World- War-II With- Out-The Scorched Earth Policy Kill! Hit-ler! And! E-va! Sui- cide pact ! Body burned in the wake! Bod- Dies-Burnt Be- Yond-Rec- cognition now! But Hitler's burnt corpse awoke! Made love to Eva one last time! Undead necrophiliac fascist carrion! Abandoned the remains of the Third Reich And fled to Argentina... Hitler's corpse is Fuhrerious! I did Nazi this coming... Hitler's corpse over Argentina... Purging the earth With guts Of rotted flesh and rotted ideas Spreading disease and propaganda disfigured flesh and disfigured policy Put a bow in his hair The word "peace" in his speech Now, he shall flee Further up north, Hitler arrives In the bowles of the USA Infecting the masses and corporate America - War criminals thrive and tell us what to think Totalitarianism Has a new face - If you want engineered news You came to the reich place Anne Frankly, I Did not see - This Monstosity Coming up the coast
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This goes deeper than worshiping your feet You'll never know what you mean to me I lost count of the times I let you beat me How many different ways can you take my virginity? Send your other subs to the back of the line This new fetish will will truly let you take what's mine Make no mistake, it is me you're here to slay I hope that you will cum as you watch me waste away I want to suffer because it makes you smile I want to die in a way that's beyond vile I want to suffer for your sins Give me AIDS your fetish within Beat! Beat Me! Beat! Beat me til I bleed! Bleed and waste Do I suffer enough for you? How can I be remembered By a mistress so true Burn myself into your memory that will forever stay with you Just promise me you'll watch my living body rot So you will finally see how hard my spirit fought Remember when that vampire interviewed that disease? He's the reason insurance companies are the way we know them today. This goes deeper than worshiping your feet You'll never know what you mean to me I lost count of the times I let you beat me How many different ways can you take my virginity? Send your other subs to the back of the line This new fetish will will truly let you take what's mine Make no mistake, it is me you're here to slay I hope that you will cum as you watch me waste away I want to suffer because it makes you smile I want to die in a way that's beyond vile I want to suffer for your sins Give me AIDS your fetish within
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When I'm lookin' down outside my window That's when I see the penguin fly by Dropping coconuts on armadillos' heads I smoked some angel dust but I don't know why You know I used bags of heroin for breakfast I can't look at the clock when my skin turns red I can see that big black lampshade coming down again I like to eat other people's shoelaces And if that telephone rings again I might just drive off a bridge Well I like to stare at empty boxes I used to wear deodorant and then I'd shave down at the zoo Ohhhhhhhh If you smoked as much as me, you could see the penguins too When I'm lookin' down outside my window I never seen a penguin that could fly Wasting time just getting high on Butman St again I sniffed some Elmer's glue but I don't know why And if that telephone rings again I might just drive off a bridge
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Big Blue Terminte raging the Woonasquatucket 'till at the head of the tidewater Wieners go all the way down on Dike St. No blood red tomato made pentagram here How do we find our own tranquillity? Sometimes it's just a misunderstood rarity I wander through streets full of mills in decay Spirits blowing through city from off the bay Pensive rapport under somber skies of silk Emotions are washed away by rivers of coffee milk Rain, rain, rain, It rained all day long (over Fort Thunder!) Curse, Curse, Curse, the curse those who take over (Gentrify none) The wormhole is in reverse And it's 1900. Tornadic waterspout time Fish are now falling from two holes in the sky Weather shifting as if God had been high The chaotic storm crashes through the wave of heat Hundreds of fish are flooding the city streets Today, we dance in the rain no more Today, we dance in fish! Rain, beautiful fish! Rain from the sky! I dance like a mad man in a blissful fish shower Nibbles Woodaway drinks an Awful Awful from the New York System The sun returns, The rainbow with a purple stripe doesn't mean that much to me But I'm happy it is here for you
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PART V: (Hello? "Here's what's going to happen. I'm gonna read this, and you're gonna listen. And you're gonna stay on the line. And you're not gonna interrupt, you're not gonna speak for any reason. Some of this you know, I'm gonna start at the top of the page. Meticulous, yes. Methodical, educated; They were these things. There were days of mistakes, laziness. And there were days, good days. They took of their surroundings what was needed, and made it something more.") Ohhhh… PART IV: All I gotta do is smoke and the shit writes itself. The goddamn larceny owl has fuckin escaped Release the fucking hounds Ow! Cough cough Ahem Ah ha ah ah ha ah ha What the fuck I am an ever-expanding wealth of consciousness due to what I have inhaled into my lungs and you will never understand the b…// I have scraped the ashtrays for resin I scrape the inside of a pipe Like GG Allin I'd do anything for a hit I'd inject into my eyeballs and move to New Hampshire Oh, I'm gonna writhe in the gutter And I'm gonna smite my enemies and jump into a coffin of my own making I can't smoke I can't smoke this anymore PART III: Yeahhh… I was supposed to rock But I didn't, I forgot How to play bass Fall asleep in a public place Narcoleptics on clonezepam Nyquil party til the last man's down Oceans of citralopram Cheerfully severing people's hands I was supposed to sleep With some ambien and caffeine Drink some Faygo with Sizzurp Pop a vicodin if you get hurt Nyquil party till the last man's down Huffing freon on your neighbor's lawn Smoke a spliff in line at Starbuck's Pass out on the sidewalk, not giving a fuck (Get to steppin unless ya'll wanna suck my dick Bitch ass motherfucker) I was supposed to wail But now I can't, I'm in jail Can no longer rock n' roll Unless someone bails me out of this hole Drugs are held as evidence Mug shot sets new precedent They say I'm lucky to be alive Maybe we'll do it again in 2 to 5 (Slide my tongue up in that asshole Motherfucker I'll slide my dick down your throat Ya'll some bitch ass motherfuckers) You wanna know where I found this joint, motherfucker? I learned it from you! You wanna know about drugs, motherfucker? I learned it from you, Dad! I learned it from you! PART I: Why's James Franco following me around? Trying to get me to smoke this brown weed? I don't want to smoke this brown weed with you, James Franco! (Why?) I don't care if you bring in Seth Rogen to sweeten the deal! Blunts! I will smoke the cannabis and that's when James Franco came up to me on 11.22.63 and said to smoke the brown weed indeed I must smoke What is less than the chronic? It will get you high, but will also give you a headache! Your temples will throb! PART II: Yeah! (Ah) I've seen you before How could you have come here, given me the brownest weed? (Ah) I'm gonna play my bass and tell you about it motherfucker It goes like this Brown Weed You make my lungs bleed You make everything shitty Brown Weed I think I'll smoke you (Ah) - Turn up the V, motherfucker! Tastes like a bag of smashed assholes Who let that dog in here? If I don't eat a can of Spaghettios I'm gonna throw my lunchbox out the window If I don't eat a bag of corned beef I'll have to deliver it to you next week instead I warned you about the inflating price of tomatoes But you wouldn't listen Now, how are you going to make any pizzas? What the fuck are you gonna do when you run out of mozzarella cheese? I warned you that it is not economically viable, and you will not be able to survive unless you make a deal with the vampire who is at the top of the insurance company… You don't understand what is at stake! The United States banking system is not what it seems! There are vampires controlling the price of produce and vegetables! How are you going to eat organically, you hippy motherfucker? This tastes terrible! Who let Mr. T in here? Pitiful. - stop it! what are you doing? stop doing drugs in here! stop it! it smells terrible! get outta here! what are you doing? aw! stop it stop it awww why are you doing drugs in here? don't smoke a blunt in here! shoo! shoo! get outta here! get out now! I don't understand why you're continuing to smoke weed in my presence after I specifically requested that you don't do it around me. I don't understand what the big deal is, anyway. Are you trying to smoke weed? It's fucking weird. I don't understand it. Where can I find any cabbage? I don't… Who took my cabbage? Give it back. Get outta here! You smell like dope! I don't understand where you put my cabbage, but I want it back. Can I get some cheddar on my fries? Gimme a fuckin' large regular or else. Can I get a McFrosty? I want an Arch Deluxe McDouble Fuckin now Gimme a McPizza you motherfucker I want some screws in my cheeseburger! If I don't bite into any metal, I won't even understand what I'm tasting It's bad for my teeth, that's what, what my doctor says You ain't paying my bills, what the fuck do you care? Don't look at me if your name is Charles or James! Disregard any evidence that I am wearing a diaper in this current situation. We have CD's in the back. Thank you, we'll be here all week. - What would be the effects if you set it all on fire at the same time? If I just hid myself in a room, closed all the doors, would I become like Brad Delp from Boston, Or would I become like Nikki Sixx and emerge super high, not knowing when the next live album will come out, But I will a share a bathroom stall with anyone with cocaine I invoke the holy st patrick's day meal of corned beef and cabbage I will smoke the bong of penance I'm not allowed to smoke anything above mid grade All of the weed stores around here are closed and require credentials that I do not have access to I am unable to do anything about the legality of weed I will appeal to a politician, but feel like they will do nothing in essence I must travel illegally to different states I have to try to not to get caught in Arizona They kicked me the fuck out of the Hoover Dam, but I'll be back Come with me if you want to split Get to the bubblah! Brown Weed You make my lungs bleed You make everything shitty Brown Weed I'll think I'll shoot you up Brown Weed You make my lungs bleed You make everything shitty Brown Weed Going to get a vasectomy! AHHHHHHH WAHHHHHH
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What would you do if I sang, "Diabeetus?" (I would encourage all of you) Would you stand up and walk out on me? (Uh) Lend me your ears, and I'll "Diabeetus" I will try not to "die" out of key Beetus I would encourage all of you, uh... These are my testing supplies. Diabeetus Testing... 1, 2, 3 Test Testing You know I have Diabeetus 'BTS.
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about

"Garbage!" is what some people might refer to this split EP as, which features two of the East Coast's most revulsed experimental bands. Over an hour of sounds, defying any one genre.

DYSLEXIC FUDGICLE is an experimental metal band originally from Massachusetts. As of 2016, two of the original members have reunited on the East Coast (Massachusetts and Rhode Island), and are now joined by drummer, Grond, and production assistant The Hardest Core. They were also briefly joined by bathtub-dweller, King Divitt the Luscious and Kazhlar the Blue, former lead guitarist for The Freeze. "D.F." have been making music for 14 years now, but they claim to have been around since the Civil War. They are best known for their stage shows, which involves hurling cheeseburgers into the crowd.

GEFILTE FIST refer to themselves as "worthless musical garbage that only weirdos like." Hailing from Tampa, Florida, Gefilte Fist has been creating "complex compositions, and diverse lyrical motifs drawing heavily on science fiction, gravy, bacon, sausage, stupidity and philosophy" since 2004. This two-man act are known for their humorous, genre-bending sound and innovative use of samples. "I guess." They are believed to be the world record holders for having the "Most Songs About Sausage."

www.facebook.com/dyslexicfudgicle
www.facebook.com/gefiltefist
www.gefiltefist.com

(DF_EP11)

credits

released August 13, 2017

DF's side produced in part by Samuel Willgoose at Murderbox Studio, Boston MA and in part by Dyslexic Fudgicle in the cities of Sandwich MA, Pawtucket RI, San Francisco CA & Austin TX.
Additional production by Yanni DiNingwie Thunder on "Drunkoncraich", San Diego, CA.

Mixed/Mastered by Samuel Willgoose (Boston MA) & Nickelsack Divinorum (Cape Cod MA/Westerly, RI)

DYSLEXIC FUDGICLE is:
Ugly Butler (the artist formerly known as G. Burgermeister) - Vocals, Guitar
Nickelsack Divinorum - Bass, Vocals, Drum Machine, Guitar, Synth, Samples
Grond - Drums
The Hardest Core - Lead Laptop

Lead guitar on Olneyfish & Planet Hitler by Kazhlar the Blue
"Grotesque Digestion" music, arrangement & lyrics by Kazhlar the Blue
Guitar on "Hell Sex" by Joe Bonelli
Additional spoken part on "Hell Sex" by Melissa McNichol
Additional guitar and arrangement on "50.SHA(I)D3S" by D. Math
Harmonica on "Grotesque Digestion" by W.K. "Party Hard" Mahler
Lead Guitar on 'BTS by King Divitt the Luscious
Guitar on Drunkoncraich by Yanni DiNingwie Thunder
Additional writing/arrangement on Planet Hitler by Emilio



Gefilte Fist's side produced by Gefilte Fist, Tampa FL.

Mixed by Gefilte Fist
Mastered by Nickelsack Divinorum

GEFILTE FIST is:
Peter Norvaisas
Matt Munday

Additional spoken part on "Laura Eye" by Laura Eye

To hear more, go to www.gefiltefist.com

Album Art/Layout by Contempt Media

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Dyslexic Fudgicle Providence, Rhode Island

Officially formed in 2003 (although their roots allegedly date back to the Civil War), Dyslexic Fudgicle plays offbeat metal and rock songs about oatmeal, hookers, midgets, owls, and former Baltimore Ravens cheerleader/WWE Diva, Stacy Keibler. They have a reputation for their live shows which involve fast food being hurled into the audience. ... more

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