I talk to my gun 'cause I'm not insane Par for the course for a mad sergeant's brain Gun talks to me, 'cause I gave it a name All LA crime will go up in flames It doesn't matter if you're left or right I gun down every politician in my sight It doesn't matter if you're alive or dead Arresting every criminal after I shoot them in the head Piles of paperwork Bombs going boom Hapless victims In unmarked tombs Decades of coffee Bootlegging wombs My cocaine supply In the evidence room More parking tickets Than there are cars Distracted by hookers That just left the bars Every cop on the force Is afraid they'll be dead (If) you're one minute late I'll blow off your head My chase in on CNN As I battle my strife Shoot through my ceiling (While I) hate-fuck my wife Angry Black Sergeant With a gun like a knife I'm a walking stereotype That's just come to life

Can you feel the news today? Got it straight – from the TSA Protecting us from us With legal airport – rubber glove lust You may feel the urge to squeal For Uncle Sam – they’ll cop an extra feel Before I fly to Bangkok They want to find a bomb behind my cock - How can I show Distain for this deed? I’m not a terrorist And I’m all out of weed Soon, they’ll see me naked On a teleprompt screen Time to get an erection Give them a reason to scream You think you’re in control I’m not your average hellion What I’ve got in my pants Will lead a new rebellion Take – a – look – at – this! My cock displays it’s might Fueled by thoughts Of the strip-joint last night - I heard you yell it right out loud Can you see it – standing tall and proud Can you see it’s pulsing vein? Can you smell – the hooker from baggage claim They call over the TSA’s best He’s big and black – his hands are on my chest He pats me down and slaps me around He thinks my loins have got some extra rounds How can I show Distain for this need? I’m not a terrorist And I’m all out of weed Soon, they’ll see me naked On a teleprompt screen Time to get an erection Give them a reason to scream Why is this allowed? This is not your church You won't find a shotgun with a Body cavity search I-think-next-time I’ll hide it with a sock They seem to think that I can Blow the plane up with my cock

She's tailor made to know what I can't resist Once I'm there, her hooks are in It's like I never knew what pleasure was Focused on the scent that's coming from her curves She's reading all the signs from the pupils in my eyes - That moment when you realize you're lusting after someone Only 'cause they wanted you and arranged it their way She can tell by the side of the bed in which I sleep My level of submission on the floor in which I creep Reading all my thoughts as I look into your eyes I crumble to her delight and sever other ties Her voice is a constant never changing song Carried to the gates as she drags me along Like an accident when my fetish hits her lips I turn around to look to her pointing finger tips Caught in a web that's more than just a game Dissected right down to the spelling of my name If it is true that I'm a fire breathing twelve She is undoubtabley six Opposites attract, and some spells can be blocked But it's all being read from the synthesizer clock When she's done with me I'll pray for Shinigami Ameonna assures that it rains in my heart I await Hiyoribō as my lover returns I am her victim for the fire melts the bell of Kiyohime!!! Feeding her my thoughts as I look into her eyes I crumble to her delight and sever other ties Her voice is a constant never changing song Carried to the gates as she drags me along Like an accident when my fetish hits her lips I turn around to look to her pointing finger tips Caught in a web that's more than just a game Dissected right down to the spelling of my name Without even looking, she knows that I'm focused on the laces of her stockings that are hidden right in plain sight For those that dare to believe the spell is compleat Gazing at showing of the law of the forbidden That she's left for me with crystalized intelligence Ough Now that I have seen this, I am free To slay the one who is obsession

Yeah! (Culture shock... it's my anti-drug!) Thrown into this world of sin We'll entertain you all we can When out of drugs, the pipe we'll scrape We know you'll rock out to our tape (If) you like the sound of rock n roll Fuck the world and smoke a bowl If it's who you are, don't fight it Load up this bong and light it Ride! Boner lines All the time So there I was, on the shrink's couch due to a recent court mandate And the guy asks me: "Son, why you doin' lots o' drugs?" Nobody had ever asked me that before, I guess I'd never really thought of it. In fact, there was so much in the world that I'd never considered before... So many places I'd never been to and wanted to see.... That's when I, Nickelsack Divinorum, decided to quit doing drugs once for all. Now, I now it's hard to believe, but it's true. I was free to travel the world, to walk the earth. First thing I did was ride my bike to Minnesota Where I purified myself the waters of Lake Minnetonka. I met a Native American man who inspired me to listen to Mr. Bungle and Tomahawk. I then travelled to Qinghai, China, where I became cloistered as a Tibetan monk. I shaved my head and only listened to Hare Krishna hardcore from the 80's, like 108 and Shelter. I learned much from listening to the teachings of Brother Cappo, but I still felt like something was missing. So I went to Jamaica, where I studied the teachings of Hallie Selassie, the conquering Lion of Judah. It was then that Jah Rastafari himself spoke to me... He looked an awful lot like that shrink before... It may very well have been the same guy, he said: "Son... shoot up this heroin..." So I did. Fuck this shit! Back to America, time to rock! So the moral of this story is: If you go to Jamaica, you might as well do drugs anyway... 'Cause, I mean... you know, fuck it... you're already in Jamaica. Climb out of this world of shit Reward us with some un-fake tits No longer can get high from pot Must shoot up until she's hot (If) you like the sound of rock n roll Fuck the world and smoke a bowl If it's who you are, don't fight it Load up this bong and light it Ride! Boner lines All the time

You are standing on the wings of the garden You have the passion of an anime character in your eyes I have feelings for you like the air of 1,000 bathrooms The platypus that lives in my head says you're the perfect size I am about to show you my sensitive side So I'll chase you with a lawnmower until you fall in love before my eyes Run! Run! Run! Here comes the blades Run! Run! From my lawnmower, love cascades Now I will chase you until you submit The blades of my lawnmower crave your tits You would be hot even if you weighed a ton Now I will mow you down in more ways than one I can't explain why I feel this way Making you my garden gnome makes my day I want you in my lawn-care path of destruction Run! Run! Run! Here comes my lust Run! Run! Run, my mower is in must Now I will chase you until you submit The blades of my lawnmower crave your tits You would be hot even if you weighed a ton Now I will mow you down in more ways than one Now I will chase you until you submit The blades of my lawnmower crave your tits You would be hot even if you weighed a ton Now I will mow you down in more ways than one

You know I love it when you cum And girl I think your body's out of this world You're the first one that I call Our love will soon be topological Those first 10 minutes are always quite a run But you're only half way there when I'm already done I have heard this kvetch for the last time Enter the realm of my intergalactic crime I'm gonna leave you starstruck As your event horizon opens up Inside you galaxies explode Exotic matter of your particles Will you let me cross that Einstein Rosen bridge? Let's synchronize our clocks for a simultaneous finish I'll ejaculate my soul just to shatter your earth And make Roman Rings find a brand new girth (I'm gonna leave you starstruck As your event horizon opens up) I'm gonna leave you starstruck As your event horizon opens up Inside you galaxies explode Exotic matter of your particles Like finally fornicating in the wormhole Finding that spot is like pushing light With your might - in hindsight Right - through the white hole If you are not pleased, I won't be shielded from bitter haste Add another dimension - to our love Calculate that in Anti-de Sitter space Won't be a waste of baby paste Your soul won't be ripped and torn Suck on Gabriel's neverending Horn Paradox resulting in clymax Will show that quantum theory of her timelike curves are non orthogonal Vaccum up equations across the Einstein field spacetime is now edgeless for trajectory's sheild Many galaxies our love has defiled We now have conceived the unholy Shwartzshild

5,4,3,2 The pulse of the night is silenced with that beat That haunts me in my car and every time I try to sleep In an elevator, it haunts me underground How can anyone again want to hear this programmed sound Need to find the source of this kryptonite Need to find my sanity before the hint of morning light Blood hits the floor at a calculated rate creates percussion to the sounds soon that I intimidate I'm gonna slice your throat to the beat of the massacre Your jugular shoots blood to the rhythm of love I'm gonna shoot through your skull to the beat of the massacre The dance floor soaked with the blood of hippie hobo hipsters I'm gonna snap your bones to the beat of the massacre Omoplota, gogoplota, cook your limbs on fresh fococcia Yeah, I'll electrocute you to the beat of the massacre A shock to your system that's taken from a live substation (Whoa) I'm gonna smash your speakers apart (Whoa) I'm gonna flip this fucking shopping cart There are many ways that I can lend a hand When your situation reaps extinction, warrants death across the land For your limbs on the ground you scrounge I left my shotgun at The Assassin's Lounge! If you don't shut that fuckin' shit off, I'm gonna take that radio and shove it So far up your fucking ass, The antenna's gonna come outta your eye sockets! I'm gonna cheese grate your face to the beat of the massacre Like a paper shredded face that I'll hang from the limo mirror I'm gonna light you on fire to the beat of the massacre Burn your skin and peel it back before I lick it raw (Finally it happened to me, right in front in my face and I just cannot hide it) I'm gonna poison your food to the beat of the massacre Unless you're Rasputin, then this arsenic has too much gluten (Finally it happened to me, right in front in my face and I just can't describe it) I'll interrupt your eulogy to the beat of the massacre Your dances may live on but your soul is forever gone

He's runnin' for mayor Governor too But he can't see nothin' With those... Titties in my face Everywhere Why are you running for cover? Is it cum? I don’t even want to hear you Because I’m too busy looking at those Titties in my face Everywhere He dunked his head In the toilet On Howard Stern But he knows…. Titties in my face Everywhere I speak unto the world: I like my burger cooked medium rare Oatmeal and titties in my toilet Put your ham down and ride a dolphin through town

There's a price we pay For the crimes we commit today Curse of Myles Standish Begins Trapped in the forest for our sins 'Cause we gangbanged Plymouth Rock All the exits are now blocked Demons lurking in the trees (That) motherfucker, Squanto, gave me a disease Tired and hungry, no end in sight GPS keeps telling me to take a right No hope in sight, can't be saved Curse of Myles Standish follows us to the grave 'Cause we gangbanged Plymouth Rock All the exits are now blocked Demons lurking in the trees (That) motherfucker, Squanto, gave me a disease. Why don't you have a seat right over there?

Oh Yeah I'm a slithering face I slid right off the head of a salesman from South Detroit And I'm on my way to your dinner plate And I'm gonna slither up there and eat all your food Then I'm gonna go hide in the Ladies' Room And Wait For a hot one to sit down on the crapper Then I'm gonna slither on up right onto her face and scream, "BEWARE OF SATANIC POTATOES!" And it's gonna freak her out so bad She's gonna catapult herself out of the country And then you'll know the horrors of the Slithering Face And then I'm gonna slide on up to the bar Slither over the bartender Order up a drink And then scream at 'em that I'm a face And he's gonna freak out and I won't have to pay Then I'm gonna drive, somehow To Iceland where the air smells like Jupiterian Blasphemy Then I'm gonna go down to the local swimsuit competition I'm gonna slither my way through the line And I'm gonna hide next to the sexiest swimsuit model I have ever seen And I'm gonna wait for her to get into a fight with someone And her mortal enemy is gonna say, "Why don't you shove it up your ass?" And that's when I'm gonna jump in her hand And she's gonna shove me up that fine little ass of hers Oh yes she is And there ain't nothing, There ain't nothing that Big John Studd can do about it! You understand where I'm coming from? I am the Slithering Face And soon you will bow to the masters Of the slithering face universe And I will turn planet Earth into Planet Slithering Face Oh Yeah Then, my master plan will be unhatched And the planet Slithering Face will be devoured by Unicron Beware of the face from South Detroit 'cause if you seen what this face can do, You don't wanna know what the rest of that Salesman can do But if he can burn down the Home Depot, he's alright with me My brain is on fire And my nipples have been laminated Now you won't see the slithering face coming, but it's coming to get ya! It's gonna get you! It's gonna steal you, it's gonna kidnap you, it's gonna hide you in the cut out bin Nobody buys records anymore, so you imagine how hard it is to find something in the record store Let alone the cut out bin? You're in trouble You're lost forever Well, not forever Maybe some Unitarian Hipster will buy ya Tryin to be all independent and stuff But don't you worry You don't know this But the slithering face may consume your home// for you when the night falls//in the back of your... The Slithering Face will take care of you Take care of the back of your dress too You just don't know it yet But I'm coming for you And there are no hobos on the stairway to Purgatory

You're wasted - and broke. Sucks to be - you dying in the dirt Cancelled - funeral Services indef'nitely postponed Desecrated corpse Left to rot - Bereft of a headstone Inverted - cross lacerate and crash right through the skull You fail at survival And these caskets ain't cheap. It's not like they grow on trees. Not worth a farewell I'll carve it in your face (spits) Send flowers somewhere else. No one to mourn you Just like I told you You're no friend of mine I'd have supported if you were aborted 'cause Baby you ain't worth my time Eleven years on A metal band - That no one's ever heard Come too far - to stop Should probably - be dead like six times over Spread across - five states Cacaphonous - Rock blows out your headphones Banned from - Hoover Dam for Practicing - The Scumfuc Tradition You fail at survival And these caskets ain't cheap (bitch). (Some coffins are antiques!) Not worth a farewell Carve my name in your face (barf) Go fuckin' hang yourself. No one to mourn you Just like I told you You're no friend of mine (no remorse entwined) I'd have supported if you were aborted 'cause Baby you ain't worth my time (not even a dime) Wake up to the sea lion barking at the dawn Let me hear you scream - from the mountaintops Gotta stash my herb through Arizona state Gonna drink a keg of gasoline and set Sedona Ablaze We'll raise the Lone Star flag for Dime's Black Tooth We smoked some blue amphetamine in the streets of ABQ Blunted on the strip in Vegas, set my soul on fire One more game of blackjack before I retire Left our mark on the walls of (the) Sub-Mission Said goodbye to San Francisco, ('cause) there's still work to be done Gather up the dead in the north east Suck the Bay State dry and vomit to the west coast Leak embalming fluids down to Austin's house Mix them with Rhode Island slime Top dollar on headstone re-sale Leave us unburied this time Even in death, we pollute your scene Can't charge the dead; it ain't no crime to be seen This space for rent; no place to rest your soul Get off the property; eviction notice on your 6 foot gaping hole Is that a bear?

Hiding in a velvet cake I wonder what will become of my fate when she knifes her way from the cake who knew she would want to fellate? Hit me hard, yeah hit me again It's just some S&M I learned from a well dressed man When you're way down, and you feel like you've got nothing left (DON'T YOU FUCKIN LOOK AT ME) If there's a good neighbor in the closet, hold a knife to his chest (DON'T YOU FUCKIN LOOK AT ME) I exit the industrial slum Then I chill with Ben and get real drunk He's one suave fucker, that much is true Red Velvet cake will soon be blue Lobotomize the yellow man Cook his brain in frying pan I wear my mask and you'll start to see All the rage inside of me Hit me hard, yeah hit me again It's just some S&M I learned from a well dressed man When you're way down, and you feel like you've got nothing left (DON'T YOU FUCKIN LOOK AT ME) If there's a good neighbor in the closet, hold a knife to his chest (DON'T YOU FUCKIN LOOK AT ME)

So sir, let me tell you a tale The melancholy story story of my life I was once so powerful Living on the thirst The thirst for blood Hunting Hunting in the dark, cold night Taking their souls Taking their souls away No one could touch me No one could touch me But then... And only then... I got AIDS ...and they call this (call this) ...and they call this the Interview with AIDS (AIDS) ...and they call this (call this) ...and they call this the Interview with AIDS (AIDS) ...and they call this (call this) ...and they call this the Interview with AIDS (AIDS) ...and they call this (call this) ...and they call this the Interview with AIDS (AIDS) And I pleaded And I pleaded to Satan And I pleaded And I prayed to Satan Lift me from this curse Lift me from this curse of AIDS Satan cured my AIDS, but in return, he commanded me to kill John Goodman Because of the Blues Brothers 2000 Belushi was pissed Mercenary for Satan Mercenary for Satan I'm a mercenary for Satan Mercenary for Satan AIDS AIDS fucking AIDS AIDS AIDS motherfucking AIDS AIDS AIDS fucking AIDS AIDS AIDS motherfucking AIDS AIDS AIDS fucking AIDS AIDS AIDS motherfucking AIDS AIDS AIDS fucking AIDS AIDS AIDS motherfucking AIDS

My story's in the words that that are never said If you read between the lines, yeah, it's all there The devil's in the details, and I've got my share Think that I would scream, if I thought anyone would hear Bleeding, leaving, love is fleeting An abstract concept, abuse its meaning Misleading, no guidance, I never decided Abandoned, my family, my lovers, misguided With solitude comes solace, no answers, just bloodlust Nowhere to go, inside my head Can I even trust myself? Can I even trust myself (The funeral procession is drawing near And I've run to a place that's so far beyond fear I promised myself revenge before I die Even if the price of vengeance comes at my life) So much I want to say, hoping just to relate Leveraged by silence in order to save face Can't come to terms with what's been done There are things that can happen that one can't recover from Broken now and seething Til I'm sick, barely breathing Now history repeats itself, and my wounds will never mend Everyone I've ever trusted betrayed me in the end All of them With solitude comes solace, no answers, just bloodlust Nowhere to go, inside my head Can I even trust myself? Truly this is hell There is no karma. Villainy survives. There is no karma. Villainy thrives.

i stepped on a snail last night, i heard it go crunch in the night it was so dark i couldn't see path of the snail in front of me the slimy goo stuck to my shoe now i feel just like a goon big daddy snail is after me he says he gonna fuckin crush me i was suddenly surrounded by snails they had me cornered againts the rails i had to think fast, what do i do? how about a 2 step on their shells after dancing all over their shells i slipped and fell over the rail as i fell to my death and took my last breath am i going to heaven or hell?!

Outside the bar, drinking again Got a rattlesnake suitcase full of cheap gin sixty years old, looks a hundred and five Still thinks he's king of the local bar dive Still hits on freshman girls like it's his job 9 to 5 Half of them aren't even sure he's alive Slap him in the face, on him he thinks they fawn Level of amusement generates a big yawn He's finally gonna get some play - Amen The yellow skinned menopause mama wants him Imagine how beautiful she'll look next to him As soon as his angel eyed beer goggles kick in Outside the bar, drinking again Got an old man's denture clad, shit eating grin Another girl in the bar avoiding this guy His iron pyrite guido chain shines in her eye Dollar store cologne stinks up the bar Curly chest hair sticks out past his collar She winces with disgust as it tickles her nose The wind blows by because of how fast she goes We're gonna die, yes we will All the same in the end, yes we do But when you die, the story that you left behind Will bore us blind, yes it will And so, we pull together, feel it strong Better stories, to live on, keep it long Campfire burns so bright-Don't  chase the light out of sight Don't make us yawn into the night Told where to go by every young lady They can't relate to things like social security One last, little effort to this night he can inject Came back later, car air fresh'ner 'round his neck The bouncers had enough; it's time that he's gone Sitting outside, even the awning 'gins to yawn Your story is too old and is just over done To all the awnings out on the strip, we yawn on And they yawn on And we yawn on The ladies of the evening yawn on And we all yawn on.... And onward we yawn Hear her, she yawns And we yawn on.... (Yawn) Outside the bar, drinking again He's finally banned for life, left alone with his sin At least you're a lot closer to 21 In your next life than you are in this one. And they yawn on And we yawn on And soon the ladies of the evening will yawn on