International Erection

from by Dyslexic Fudgicle

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From "Cancelled Funeral" [2015]
Originally appeared on Dyslexic Fudgicle's "International Erection" [2013] CD-Single on Torn Flesh Records

lyrics

Can you feel the news today?
Got it straight – from the TSA

Protecting us from us
With legal airport – rubber glove lust

You may feel the urge to squeal
For Uncle Sam – they’ll cop an extra feel

Before I fly to Bangkok
They want to find a bomb behind my cock

-

How can I show
Distain for this deed?
I’m not a terrorist
And I’m all out of weed
Soon, they’ll see me naked
On a teleprompt screen
Time to get an erection
Give them a reason to scream

You think you’re in control
I’m not your average hellion
What I’ve got in my pants
Will lead a new rebellion

Take – a – look – at – this!
My cock displays it’s might
Fueled by thoughts
Of the strip-joint last night

-

I heard you yell it right out loud
Can you see it – standing tall and proud

Can you see it’s pulsing vein?
Can you smell – the hooker from baggage claim

They call over the TSA’s best
He’s big and black – his hands are on my chest

He pats me down and slaps me around
He thinks my loins have got some extra rounds

How can I show
Distain for this need?
I’m not a terrorist
And I’m all out of weed

Soon, they’ll see me naked
On a teleprompt screen
Time to get an erection
Give them a reason to scream

Why is this allowed?
This is not your church
You won't find a shotgun with a
Body cavity search

I-think-next-time
I’ll hide it with a sock
They seem to think that I can
Blow the plane up with my cock

credits

from So Heavy, God Can't Lift Us, released June 10, 2016
Music: Nickelsack, G. Burgermeister
Lyrics: G. Burgermeister
Performed by: Nickelsack, G. Burgermeister, Evan Sammons

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about

Dyslexic Fudgicle Providence, Rhode Island

Officially formed in 2003 (although their roots allegedly date back to the Civil War), Dyslexic Fudgicle plays offbeat metal and rock songs about oatmeal, hookers, midgets, owls, and former Baltimore Ravens cheerleader/WWE Diva, Stacy Keibler. They have a reputation for their live shows which involve fast food being hurled into the audience. ... more

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