Oh Yeah
I'm a slithering face
I slid right off the head
of a salesman from South Detroit
And I'm on my way to your dinner plate
And I'm gonna slither up there and eat all your food
Then I'm gonna go hide in the Ladies' Room
And Wait
For a hot one to sit down on the crapper
Then I'm gonna slither on up right onto her face and scream,
"BEWARE OF SATANIC POTATOES!"
And it's gonna freak her out so bad
She's gonna catapult herself out of the country
And then you'll know the horrors of the Slithering Face

And then I'm gonna slide on up to the bar
Slither over the bartender
Order up a drink
And then scream at 'em that I'm a face
And he's gonna freak out and I won't have to pay
Then I'm gonna drive, somehow
To Iceland
where the air smells like Jupiterian Blasphemy

Then I'm gonna go down to the local swimsuit competition
I'm gonna slither my way through the line
And I'm gonna hide next to the sexiest swimsuit model I have ever seen
And I'm gonna wait for her to get into a fight with someone
And her mortal enemy is gonna say,
"Why don't you shove it up your ass?"
And that's when I'm gonna jump in her hand
And she's gonna shove me up that fine little ass of hers
Oh yes she is
And there ain't nothing,
There ain't nothing that Big John Studd can do about it!
You understand where I'm coming from?

I am the Slithering Face
And soon you will bow to the masters
Of the slithering face universe
And I will turn planet Earth into Planet Slithering Face
Oh Yeah

Then, my master plan will be unhatched
And the planet Slithering Face will be devoured by Unicron
Beware of the face from South Detroit
'cause if you seen what this face can do,
You don't wanna know what the rest of that Salesman can do
But if he can burn down the Home Depot, he's alright with me

My brain is on fire
And my nipples have been laminated
Now you won't see the slithering face coming, but it's coming to get ya!
It's gonna get you!
It's gonna steal you, it's gonna kidnap you, it's gonna hide you in the cut out bin
Nobody buys records anymore, so you imagine how hard it is to find something in the record store
Let alone the cut out bin?
You're in trouble
You're lost forever
Well, not forever
Maybe some Unitarian Hipster will buy ya
Tryin to be all independent and stuff
But don't you worry
You don't know this
But the slithering face may consume your home// for you when the night falls//in the back of your...

The Slithering Face will take care of you
Take care of the back of your dress too
You just don't know it yet
But I'm coming for you
And there are no hobos on the stairway to Purgatory