From "Cancelled Funeral" [2015]


Outside the bar, drinking again
Got a rattlesnake suitcase full of cheap gin
sixty years old, looks a hundred and five
Still thinks he's king of the local bar dive

Still hits on freshman girls like it's his job 9 to 5
Half of them aren't even sure he's alive
Slap him in the face, on him he thinks they fawn
Level of amusement generates a big yawn

He's finally gonna get some play - Amen
The yellow skinned menopause mama wants him
Imagine how beautiful she'll look next to him
As soon as his angel eyed beer goggles kick in

Outside the bar, drinking again
Got an old man's denture clad, shit eating grin
Another girl in the bar avoiding this guy
His iron pyrite guido chain shines in her eye

Dollar store cologne stinks up the bar
Curly chest hair sticks out past his collar
She winces with disgust as it tickles her nose
The wind blows by because of how fast she goes

We're gonna die, yes we will
All the same in the end, yes we do
But when you die, the story that you left behind
Will bore us blind, yes it will

And so, we pull together, feel it strong
Better stories, to live on, keep it long
Campfire burns so bright-Don't
 chase the light out of sight
Don't make us yawn into the night

Told where to go by every young lady
They can't relate to things like social security
One last, little effort to this night he can inject
Came back later, car air fresh'ner 'round his neck

The bouncers had enough; it's time that he's gone
Sitting outside, even the awning 'gins to yawn
Your story is too old and is just over done
To all the awnings out on the strip, we yawn on

And they yawn on

And we yawn on

The ladies of the evening yawn on

And we all yawn on....

And onward we yawn

Hear her, she yawns

And we yawn on....


Outside the bar, drinking again
He's finally banned for life, left alone with his sin
At least you're a lot closer to 21
In your next life than you are in this one.

And they yawn on

And we yawn on

And soon the ladies of the evening will yawn on


from So Heavy, God Can't Lift Us, released June 10, 2016
Music: G. Burgermeister, Nickelsack, Syren
Lyrics: G. Burgermeister
Performed by: Nickelsack, G. Burgermeister, Syren, Evan Sammons



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Dyslexic Fudgicle Providence, Rhode Island

Officially formed in 2003 (although their roots allegedly date back to the Civil War), Dyslexic Fudgicle plays offbeat metal and rock songs about oatmeal, hookers, midgets, owls, and former Baltimore Ravens cheerleader/WWE Diva, Stacy Keibler. They have a reputation for their live shows which involve fast food being hurled into the audience. ... more

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