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Refurbished Benediction

from Cancelled Funeral by Dyslexic Fudgicle

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Based on elements that originally appeared on the song "Stop Talking and Lift Something You Lazy Singer" from Dyslexic Fudgicle's "We're No Stratovarius" [2003]

lyrics

Behold the dwellings of your post death aura
You may experience some turbulence if you don't stop whining
They don't make seatbelts for your execution
But the coffee isn't terrible
You appear to have been too lazy
Far too lazy to perform at the necessary level
The Level needed to act in this world
As the model citizen everyone expects you to be
But that no one actually likes!
So don't just stand there,
Flapping your lips in the wind
Like some sort of constipated hyena strung out on aderall.
Stop talking and lift something!
You heard me, puny earthling
This is your wake up call on your way to oblivion!
You didn't do anything correctly when you were alive
You'll probably die wrong, too
And after you screw up the act of passing away,
You'll be sent back to the earth
Probably as some salt pounding punchinello
That somehow owes money to homeless people
Then you'll be doomed to wander the (baked) Alaskan Tundra
Angrily smashing igloos and losing games of cribbage to
Polar bears.

AT DAWN, WE ATTACK THE FALSE!!!!

credits

from Cancelled Funeral, released April 16, 2015
Music: Nickelsack, Syren
Lyrics: G. Burgermeister
Performed by: G. Burgermeister, Nickelsack, Evan Sammons

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Dyslexic Fudgicle Providence, Rhode Island

Officially formed in 2003 (although their roots allegedly date back to the Civil War), Dyslexic Fudgicle plays offbeat metal and rock songs about oatmeal, hookers, midgets, owls, and former Baltimore Ravens cheerleader/WWE Diva, Stacy Keibler. They have a reputation for their live shows which involve fast food being hurled into the audience. ... more

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