Guitar Center Blues

from by Dyslexic Fudgicle

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  • Cassette + Digital Album

    We recorded a whole album, and only made 15 cassettes of it. Only our friends have heard it, and none of them are really sure what to make of it. Handmade art and packaging by us.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Soundtrack to Your Coma via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 14 days
    edition of 15 

      $10 USD

     

lyrics

I'm going to guitar center. This is what is sounds like here.

Hehe. I'm going to buy some equipment. And onions. And tits.
I don't even care if Facebook is on.
Oh NO!

I dread having to talk to those Guitar Center clerks.

Always trying to sell me tech I don't need!

I need to join the dollar guitar equipment club.

For the love of Indra, I play a half broken banjo on a back

porch while wearing a straw hat! Stop trying to sell me a

limited edition Fender amp hooked up to a ProTools switch

harmonic arpeggiator descrambler, you fat, clean-cut, fake

hippie!

GRAAAAAAMMMMM!!!!

Hey man, what's up? I play in a metal band. I'm looking for
a Raven cab with a Line-6 head cheap. Can you help me out?

Let me ask you something. What kind of sound are you looking
for? I think what you really need is this Fender Vintage
Reissue '65 Twin Reverb Guitar Combo Amp. 85W and it's only
$1,499.99. Now let me tell you what accessories you'll need...


Gggggrrrhghhghrhhghg DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!

Yyraaaghghghghgghgh

[sandwich eating sounds]

I'd rather you try to sell me a shit sandwich.

(sample:
"Excuse me. Who ordered the hamburger with AIDS?"
"I ordered the hamburger deluxe..."
"In this restarurant, a hamburger deluxe come with french fries, lettuce, tomato, mayo and AIDS! Everything on your goddamn table got AIDS."
"You still ain't makin' me eat no AIDS burger!"
"Well, all you gotta do is say 'Hold the AIDS.' Eat it."
[scuffle]
"Bitch, you come in my house, you gon' eat my food the way I fuckin' make it!")

Oh!

This is what it sounds like when you try to sell me that CRAP!

credits

from Soundtrack to Your Coma, released April 20, 2016
Music: Nickelsack, Syren
Lyrics: G. Burgermeister
Song title/concept by Noah Black
Performed by: Nickelsack, Syren, G. Burgermeister

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about

Dyslexic Fudgicle Providence, Rhode Island

Officially formed in 2003 (although their roots allegedly date back to the Civil War), Dyslexic Fudgicle plays offbeat metal and rock songs about oatmeal, hookers, midgets, owls, and former Baltimore Ravens cheerleader/WWE Diva, Stacy Keibler. They have a reputation for their live shows which involve fast food being hurled into the audience. ... more

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