Did you win the lottery and die the next day?
Are you a judge that had to sentence your own bookie away?
Were you a ghost at a costume party and get set on fire
because everyone thought you were the KKK?

It's just your good luck getting cut in half
Don't give up now, you're giving someone else a laugh
Maybe next week, you'll get hit by a bus
It's just your stinking life - A grinning anus

Were you diggin' for gold when you struck a water main?
Did you blow a rape whistle and now the rapist knows where you're stayin'?
Did you get a call girl's number only to find
that your sister's ring tone that is echoing through your mind.

It's just a local baboon's defecation on your floor
It's when Big Foot uses your kid as a fishing lore
Don't quit now, there's still life to lust
When life excretes, it's from a grinning anus

Did you get pepper-sprayed when you were lookin' up her blouse?
Were you lighting up some methane when you burned down your house?
Are you pissed that lasik eye surgery left your wallet douse?
and now you're stuck looking at your God-awful, ugly spouse?

Be afraid there's a black widow spider on your wall
It's better than if it were in a bathroom stall
A vindictive tornado blew a burning cactus down your pants
And now there's burning, bloodied holes in your Grinning Anus

Did you jump into the lake and now you're in quicksand?
Were you getting your rocks off and noticed someone else's hand?
Were you burned at the stake when you were roasting marshmallows?
Then you were napping in the woods and then eaten alive by wolves?